An Eve was Teased

I know many of you have concerns on this issue and have also asked about it.
So Far, I had nothing major to tell about. But in the last 1 week....I have been eve teased twice!! (OMG.....poor me!)

I do not count ogling as a part of eve-teasing. It is a way of life now. And in south India, I have heard this from a southy, that if you are a female and have any complexion lighter then dark brown, you deserve attention.

Well, the first incident happened when we went to Cubbon park last weekend. A group of 3 young boys (16-17 years olds) were standing in the opposite corner of the park. We had planned a picnic for A and were having food. These boys came to our bench for no apparent reason. H, had closed his eyes may be trying to sleep under a big,old tree shade. So these guys dissected me nicely and then started commenting and giggling in kannada. I didn't understand a word of it but it was not respectful for sure. I gave them a good stare and they kept staring back not only in my eyes, but everywhere else too.

Second incident took place outside A's school. I walked out of the school holding A's hand. I had to take an auto as our driver was down with Viral fever.An Adam (man)....about 32-34 years of age, wearing a helmet, white shirt, came on a bike and slowed down his bike and indicated me to get onto his bike.
As he passed by, I turned around to take down his bike no. and also to make sure that it is what I was thinking it to be but he was still staring at me turning his head and again gestured the same thing.

So the conclusion is, yes eve-teasing happens. But you know what? It doesn't bother me much. It does upset me for sometime. It doesn't bother me much because I know I can handle this and he can do no harm to me apart from a mental harrassment and insult.
I have traveled in Delhi buses extensively for 6 years and have been through these incidents for almost 2 decades now. All ladies out there have.

What I wonder is will A be able to handle these Adam's or does she necessarily have to go through this when I know it is going to be worse with time?? Is this a part of the ultra necessary Indian culture course that we want to give her?


I am going through yet another patch of bad health coupled with school admission season. I will soon be writing about Bangalore schools after I am more at peace. Right now, my info about schools may be biased- influenced by frustrations.
But for anyone, who is moving to Bangalore early next year, the forms are out for the admission mania and it may be worth it making an emergency trip to collect forms and attend interviews this month. Good Luck!

10 Months- Me-Then and Now

Its been almost 10 months since we r2i-ed and I often go back 2-3 years into memory lanes and think how I have changed or things have changed specially in the last 10 months.
As I have said before, I was not keen on moving back. It was 99% H's decision.1% was my coaxing him to make a decision either ways.

Having lived here for 10 months, here are the things that have made me change or re-iterate my opinions-
1. Proximity to parents- our parents live in North. It takes a minimum of 10-12 hrs to reach them from Bangalore as compared to 26 hrs from US. I have been to my parents place twice already and going again next month for my brother's wedding but I think this is more like a novelty trips then required ones and will not be as frequent in the years to come
2. Domestic Help- Yes it is a headache till you find the maid of your dreams. My friend who R2i-ed about 4 years back is still struggling and is the witch of her complex for the maids. In a way, it depends on your attitude also. I have leant to ignore and tolerate and do things on my own as well. also, we treat all our helpers with utmost respect and compassion, so they respect us from heart.
I am in a horrible state of health for the last 5 days due to allergies and sinus. One of my maids is making all sorts of soups and Kaadhas(medicinal soups) for me everyday as per my taste. also, she is doing many other household chores which she can without asking for a penny for this. She is an angel in disguise for me. Not only b'coz she is helping me but for the kind of person she has been during the last 9 months.
Our driver is checking on me thrice a day to ensure that everything I might need is attended to.
Do you think you can get this in US?? NO.
Touchwood!(God please save my luck from evil eyes!-nazar mat lagana)
3. Health- getting worse. I am unable to stand in the kitchen for even 10 mnts at a stretch. Allergies are kiing me. They are more frequent and worse. I have spent about Rs. 10K on docs and medicines during the last 10 months. The illnesses included allergies, sinus and stomach infections only!
It is one of the 2 reasons which still makes me fell like running back. But I have still not given up. I am trying Homeopathy and will start jalneti soon.
4. A- Thats my little one who has recently turned 3. It has been the easiest for her. No issues except for colds and upset tummy(twice). But we have been extremely careful with toilets and food with her. I do not step out of home without water and some home made or packaged snack for her. She is happy with school and is quite popular amongst teachers as well as kids.
Poor thing has become proficient in cooling down her ever exploding parents by saying- "Its ok Papa/ mummy, theek ho jayega....koi baat nahi"(it will all be fine)....I really do not know where she learnt this from.
5. Things around- I am still not used to the inefficiencies, corruption, unprofessional ism, etc., etc., etc. BUT, I have learnt to live with it and work around it.
Ex- I know how long it takes to get things done in the bank. So, I take some water and food for A along, take a 2 hours time slot(as compared to 10 mnts in US) and a book to read to pass time and maintain my cool. I am cool as cucumber now and do not scream so often. Actually, it is H who is screaming these days on everything. I am the smiling like Buddha spectator.
Ex2-If I have a courier delivery expected, or an electrician visit, or cable guy visit, etc., I do not keep any other plans for that day. That solves majority of the problems. Because I do not have other things to be taken care of and hence, no anger.
6. I don't mind it- I would not say now that I am not happy or at peace( except for the health). Trade offs are everywhere. It depends on what price you are paying to get what.
I was happy in US and now, I am happy here also. Things might change when I start working because professional angle will also come in the picture.
7. Schools- This is reason no.2 to run back. Bangalore school scene is horrible. Last year A was under age for NPS and now she is under age for LKG but over age for montessori. Plz beget your child before june and after Jan in case you have any plans to live in B'lore. I have not yet filled up even 1 form but I am completely exhausted and in a state of giving up.
8. Social Life- Our social life in US was equally busy and happy. It is still the same. We are lucky to have a very nice bunch of friends and cousins in US and in BLR.

Diwali is around the corner and I am enjoying the festivities and prepaprations.In India, there is deifinitely much more hustle and bustle but it is not the same as I had expected or as it is in North India. I do see roadside Diya vendors, chinese lights in markets, etc. but not as festive as I expected it to be.

But, on the whole, it is nice to be back home.

See, I told you there is a twist in the tale.

What's your salary?

I think this one deserves a mention. To let you prepae yourself before you r2i.

In case you are moving to India with a container or with some shipment from US.....be very ready for one question- Whats your salary?

I have written about how your life is so public and everyone owns the right to comment, advise, criticize you. When you come back with a truck load of stuff or in fact any % of truck load, you come under the radar of inquisitive relatives and friends. They did not ask my hubby directly but whenever they could find me alone, or may be they deliberately take me to a corner, they ask shamelessly how much H is making. Do they ever feel hesitant about asking such a question?perhaps not.

Most of our family lives in North India in towns. And nobody hesitates in asking your rent. So telling them that we pay 25K as rent is insane for them. They imagine a huge bungalow with 2-3 big cars parked outside, a gardner watering the plants, aayas playing with baby, etc. But reality is that for 25K, we live in a very good APARTMENT. I do not blame them because the people I am talking about may be having 25K as the monthly family income. They cannnot imagine the living expenses of metros.

If they happen to visit you, they will have peering eyes into every nuk and corner of your house. "Is this also from US, and this and how about that?", they ask about each and every thing. Even a simple corelle plate - is it US corelle or Indian?
I feel bad but sometimes I think twice before taking out a US crockery piece because it might catch eyes even if it costed me $3!
Sometimes I feel sorry for bringing the shipment.

Also, not only this, their expectations are also very high because you have moved back from US. As per them(speaking generally, exceptions are their but very rare) you can move only for 3 reasons-
1. You have been laid off and did not find a job
2. The US immigration did not find you good enough to retain you in US and kicked your butt
3. You have an extremely lucrative pay package waiting for you in India.

And God help you if you decide to move back to India without a job in hand!!

Your lifestyle, car you own, number of servants, school your child goes to, shop you do your groceries from, everything determines your extravagance and big pockets.

My advise to R2I-ers is- become thick skinned before you move back and design a disaster recovery plan for the salary question.
The way I handle the question is- "I dont know H's salary". It sounds absurd but that is the best I have come up with so far. Any suggestions are welcome.