I do not think I fully qualify to write about schooling in Bangalore yet but I really wanted to share the experiences that I have gained so far. As I said earlier, I wanted to cool down before writing about this so that I do not make a biased opinion .
Finally, we decided to try next year for A's Big school so that we get more time to know about schools in Bangalore and might also buy a property by that time to know our final location.
Except for NPS and a handful of few other schools, there are mixed reviews about all schools. So much so, that making a choice gets extremely difficult.
Experience #1: NPS Indiranagar: Last Year A was underage for Montessori. After standing in a long queue of aspirant NPS-ite parents, I discovered that she is over age for Montessori and under age for LKG. So, the receptionist offered that I must buy form for the 2011 session. I was surprised and asked her what if they decide to change the form format or even change policies, etc. She said vaguely, "Oh no no, you can buy it now and I do not think they will change the format. If they do you can take another one........". I knew this was just a technique to get Rs. 250 out of my purse. I thanked and started to leave. Frustrated and disappointed as I was, I started to walk towards the gate when a man came to me and asked me if I got the form. I saw him standing about 8 people ahead of me in the queue and thought why was he waiting for me here and why he was asking me this. I told him that my daughter is underage and moved on. He started walking with me and told me how he can help me. He asked me to bring the original birth certificate the next day and that he will take me to Raghu, the politician who lives in Thippasandra and another politician with the birth cert. And tried to assure me that A can get admission there.
First, I will never go to a politician for admission that too in a new city. Second, I will never show an American Birth cert. to a politician or anyone else.
I knew where he was getting to. So thanked him and asked if he knew me. He told me that his child is in A's class at the play school and he has seen me a lot of times. I was wondering why I had never seen him. But I was really scared as to what if he meets me again and asks me to come to the 2 politicians, etc. But Thankfully, that did not happen.
Exp. #2: NPS Koramangala: The lesser told the better.
They Ran out of forms on day 2 of form distribution at 10 AM!!
After spending 1.5 hrs in traffic we were standing outside NPS Kormangala to find this out. No one was there to provide info or help. No Notice. I had never felt more aimless and clueless in life ever before. We, along with about 70 other parents were standing outside the school gate waiting for someone to come out to tell us something. All other parents were shooting in the dark.
So that one was also ruled out because of the madness, shortage of forms, etc. etc.
Exp. #3: Presidency School East: When I got the form of this school after my 2 experiences at NPSs, I felt I if I had won an award. I kept staring and smiling at the form for a few seconds. Well, all was well and we submitted the form. This time they were short of brochures. We got a call for interview and a follow-up SMS also.
On the day of interview, we got the brochure and were asked to update the new application form. That means, the form they distributed about 5 days back was an old format and this was the new one!!! I felt like screaming but it was for A's future so I kept my cool. After filling up the tedious form again, we sat in the lobby waiting for our turn and I observed other kids and parents.
Call me snob or whatever, I did not find more then 2 parents who looked 'like us' types. It was not very encouraging. It felt as if anyone and everyone can come to this school. Children were dressed in funny dresses, as if they have come to a fancy dress party or a park. Don't even talk about some mothers. Atrociously dressed! Heavily embroidered jeans, jazzy magents/ parrot green/ flurocent tops!!
Many kids wore a lot of jewellery, bangles and anklets making noise, ash or sticker bindis/ bindas.
I was busy observing when we got a call for "observation". To my surprise, A performed and behaved excellently. They took copies of our documents and original birth certificate for verification and asked us to move to another lobby.
We waited there for about 1.5 hrs again observing colorfully dressed people and kids. A's name was called out and H came back running to declare that they have lost our original birth certificate!! Actually the place was nothing more then chaos!It was completely badly organized mayhem. Nobody had any procedure or protocol. H ran around like crazy to find the documents. Just then a senior teacher came to announce, " Please do not give us your originals. We are NOT asking for originals. Copies is what we need." This was testing our patience and limit of endurance now.
After about 15-20 mnts, H came with the BC. The teacher who took it had kept it in one of the document baskets with her "just like that".
After more then 2 hours, we were finally called in the principal's room where the only question was how A will commute and the only info was the fees and that we have to deposit Rs. 43K to comfirm our admission. We were confused. So I said, " We are not carrying our checkbook right now." The answer was- "we do not take DD or checks, only cash." Oh so this is your black money pool or something???-we thought. We told them that we will think and come back.
Also, the school fees was about 70K p.a. plus bus, books, uniform, etc. It seemed like ANYONE in bangalore can afford that kind of expenses.
We left and came home with A having 103 degrees fever.
We have given up on admissions for this year now and will try next year. Till then, good luck if you are in Bangalore and trying for admissions!
I will write soon about the variety of schools in bangalore.
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Color of Our Skin
One gentleman/ lady made a very interesting comment on my blog "What is Quality of Life?". And it has made me wonder how different things could be just if the color of our skin was different.
The comment states: "it was a simple question of someone overtaking me wrongly, and me honking - but we both stopped side by side at the next traffic signal, and he made a gesture to cut off my head. This was in the heart of Sunnyvale, CA. Would he do it if my skin had a different color - I doubt it."
The last italicized part is what caught my attention.
This is a very valid point that he has made.
Now picture the same situation in India. Lets assume any city in India. I have seen a lot of people giving stares/ looks and also showing middle finger and shouting abuses while someone honks at them while they wrongly overtake. Million dollar question is- would he have shown me the finger if the color of my skin was white? - Probably not.
That means, if I were white in US or in India, I would have been treated quite differently in any given traffic situation. For different reasons at both places though. In US because I would have been one of them and in India because I would have been superior (as most Indians treat White skin as a sign of supreme creed and race) to them and not one of them.
So is it the color of our skin that is the problem?? Or is it that we just make it a problem and see it as racism because we assume too much??
The comment states: "it was a simple question of someone overtaking me wrongly, and me honking - but we both stopped side by side at the next traffic signal, and he made a gesture to cut off my head. This was in the heart of Sunnyvale, CA. Would he do it if my skin had a different color - I doubt it."
The last italicized part is what caught my attention.
This is a very valid point that he has made.
Now picture the same situation in India. Lets assume any city in India. I have seen a lot of people giving stares/ looks and also showing middle finger and shouting abuses while someone honks at them while they wrongly overtake. Million dollar question is- would he have shown me the finger if the color of my skin was white? - Probably not.
That means, if I were white in US or in India, I would have been treated quite differently in any given traffic situation. For different reasons at both places though. In US because I would have been one of them and in India because I would have been superior (as most Indians treat White skin as a sign of supreme creed and race) to them and not one of them.
So is it the color of our skin that is the problem?? Or is it that we just make it a problem and see it as racism because we assume too much??
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Indian Culture and Halloween
Do the two make any sense to you? If your answer is "No" then I am not the only conservative Indian around.
In the last 2 weeks, we saw some posters mentioning Halloween parties within apartment complexes organized by children, more organized Halloween nights well sponsored and arranged at some hotels in Bangalore. It did not hit me so hard until last Friday, Oct., 30th.
There was a knock at our door and I said to A, "Its Papa". Opened the door to get the biggest shock of my life. A group of about 15-20 kids, age range was 6-15 years, dressed as witch, ghosts, Dracula, etc. were standing at our door step shouting "trick or treat, trick or treat" in the utmost desi way. A started crying thinking her worst fears of Mummy calling Bhoots (ghosts) if she does not eat has finally come true. I gave them all candies I had in the house and told them how nice they looked and bid adieu. But before leaving, some of them demonstrated their characters/ costumes. Like the witch pretended to fly on her phool jhaadu (broom), a girl wearing a tiny white shoulder-less dress (like that of a hot bride) and a veil, lifted up her veil to show her bruised face, tomato red lipstick and blackened eyes and not to be missed- blonde wig!
I am not exaggerating. I wanted to take pictures but A was completely out of wits and I just wanted to shoo the ghosts away.
I was not at all excited or pleased about the entire thing. Not because they scared A or took all the candies but because this is not I was looking forward to while we moved back. This is not the culture we wanted A to have at the cost of being eve-teased (pun intended).
It actually left me with a bad taste for the next few days. As far as I remember, celebrating ghosts was not a part of Indian Cultural Curriculum.
How western can we get?! Or is it that we have lost track of time and it is year 2050 or has cultural globalization has badly hit India? But this was the last thing that I expected out of my very own Indian culture.
I do not think any of these kids knew the significance or rationale behind Halloween. They were just too happy to act American.
And yes, there were a few Page 3 parties in Bangalore to celebrate Oktober Fest also last week!!
I am looking forward to Thanks giving feast(turkey), Easter egg hunt, St. patrick's Day or may be even, Mardi Gras! You never know.
In the last 2 weeks, we saw some posters mentioning Halloween parties within apartment complexes organized by children, more organized Halloween nights well sponsored and arranged at some hotels in Bangalore. It did not hit me so hard until last Friday, Oct., 30th.
There was a knock at our door and I said to A, "Its Papa". Opened the door to get the biggest shock of my life. A group of about 15-20 kids, age range was 6-15 years, dressed as witch, ghosts, Dracula, etc. were standing at our door step shouting "trick or treat, trick or treat" in the utmost desi way. A started crying thinking her worst fears of Mummy calling Bhoots (ghosts) if she does not eat has finally come true. I gave them all candies I had in the house and told them how nice they looked and bid adieu. But before leaving, some of them demonstrated their characters/ costumes. Like the witch pretended to fly on her phool jhaadu (broom), a girl wearing a tiny white shoulder-less dress (like that of a hot bride) and a veil, lifted up her veil to show her bruised face, tomato red lipstick and blackened eyes and not to be missed- blonde wig!
I am not exaggerating. I wanted to take pictures but A was completely out of wits and I just wanted to shoo the ghosts away.
I was not at all excited or pleased about the entire thing. Not because they scared A or took all the candies but because this is not I was looking forward to while we moved back. This is not the culture we wanted A to have at the cost of being eve-teased (pun intended).
It actually left me with a bad taste for the next few days. As far as I remember, celebrating ghosts was not a part of Indian Cultural Curriculum.
How western can we get?! Or is it that we have lost track of time and it is year 2050 or has cultural globalization has badly hit India? But this was the last thing that I expected out of my very own Indian culture.
I do not think any of these kids knew the significance or rationale behind Halloween. They were just too happy to act American.
And yes, there were a few Page 3 parties in Bangalore to celebrate Oktober Fest also last week!!
I am looking forward to Thanks giving feast(turkey), Easter egg hunt, St. patrick's Day or may be even, Mardi Gras! You never know.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
What is Quality of Life?
We often talk about Quality of Life (QOL). It has special significance while we make a decision about R2I or not-R2I or may be R2A. We always compare and attribute our decisions on QOL. But what the hell is QOL??
Is quality of life tangible or intangible? Is it Physical or Metaphysical? Is it real? All these thoughts sometimes storm my mind especially when I am in some pain or when the thoughts of rushing back to US resurface (resurface coz it keeps surfacing often).
H and I are very often stuck in this QOL web while discussing life in India Vs. Life in US.
Here is my analysis of QOL. It might help people when comparing their lives in US or post R2I.
What is QOL?
“QOL reflects the difference, the gap, between the hopes and expectations of a person and their present experience.”- I read somewhere and I think it is very well put.
As for me, QOL is a subjective mix of physical well-being, mental bell-being, achievement of ones goals and leading a comfortable life. It may also be called a sum of happiness and satisfaction.
Components of QOL?
Physical Health, Mental Health, Financial stability, Education, Professional satisfaction (work and colleagues), General happiness with Family (you spouse and kids- time spent, things done, etc.), Relatives, Friends, house and Neighborhood you live in, General environment( Food, Shopping, Roads, Cleanliness, public facilities, people around, etc.), Belongingness, Security (Security from robbers, kidnappers, eve-teasers, muggers, etc.) etc. etc. Add to it the ease of achieving all these.
I will not get into how to achieve QOL, etc. We all are smart enough and have our own ways to achieve it.
But the calculation of QOL is what we were struggling to get to. And now, I have devised this method. I would be grateful if someone can give me a better mathematical formula.
For everything not achieved or lost in transition: -1
For Indifference: 0
For everything achieved: 1
For everything that can be achieved far better/ easily: 2
(My assumptions are based on my experience of staying in CA and in Bangalore. The financial equation changes if CA is changed to may be IL, TX, or FL, etc.)
Here is our result based on various parameters listed here:
(Again, these are my calculations based on our factors.)
Isn’t that a huge difference?!
It is not a surprise and it is definitely not something we did not know before R2I. But never gave numbers to anything. Even if we did, would that have changed the decision? Perhaps not. But it is not a bad idea to do maintain a PNL account of our lives. Isn’t it?
Some interesting Links:
http://www.gdrc.org/uem/qol-define.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_5003150_measure-quality-life.html
http://www.calresco.org/lucas/qol.htm
Is quality of life tangible or intangible? Is it Physical or Metaphysical? Is it real? All these thoughts sometimes storm my mind especially when I am in some pain or when the thoughts of rushing back to US resurface (resurface coz it keeps surfacing often).
H and I are very often stuck in this QOL web while discussing life in India Vs. Life in US.
Here is my analysis of QOL. It might help people when comparing their lives in US or post R2I.
What is QOL?
“QOL reflects the difference, the gap, between the hopes and expectations of a person and their present experience.”- I read somewhere and I think it is very well put.
As for me, QOL is a subjective mix of physical well-being, mental bell-being, achievement of ones goals and leading a comfortable life. It may also be called a sum of happiness and satisfaction.
Components of QOL?
Physical Health, Mental Health, Financial stability, Education, Professional satisfaction (work and colleagues), General happiness with Family (you spouse and kids- time spent, things done, etc.), Relatives, Friends, house and Neighborhood you live in, General environment( Food, Shopping, Roads, Cleanliness, public facilities, people around, etc.), Belongingness, Security (Security from robbers, kidnappers, eve-teasers, muggers, etc.) etc. etc. Add to it the ease of achieving all these.
I will not get into how to achieve QOL, etc. We all are smart enough and have our own ways to achieve it.
But the calculation of QOL is what we were struggling to get to. And now, I have devised this method. I would be grateful if someone can give me a better mathematical formula.
For everything not achieved or lost in transition: -1
For Indifference: 0
For everything achieved: 1
For everything that can be achieved far better/ easily: 2
(My assumptions are based on my experience of staying in CA and in Bangalore. The financial equation changes if CA is changed to may be IL, TX, or FL, etc.)
Here is our result based on various parameters listed here:
| Parameters | | US |
| Physical Health | -1 | 1 |
| Mental Health | 2 | 1 |
| Domestic Help | 1 | -1 |
| Financial Stability | 2 | 1 |
| Family Life | 0 | 1 |
| Relatives | 2 | 1 |
| Friends | 1 | 1 |
| House | 1 | 1 |
| Neighborhood | 1 | 1 |
| Professional Satisfaction- Career | 1 | 1 |
| Professional Satisfaction- Colleagues | 0 | 1 |
| Education- Quality | 2 | 1 |
| Education-Convenience | -1 | 1 |
| Belongingness | 1 | 1 |
| Security/ Safety | -1 | 2 |
| General Environment-Food | 1 | 1 |
| Gen. Env.- People | 0 | 1 |
| Gen. Env. - Roads | -1 (-10 may be) | 2 |
| Gen. Env.- Hygiene | -1 | 1 |
| Gen. Env.- Cleanliness | -1 | 2 |
| Gen. Env.- Public Facilities(Libraries, Toilets, Water, Power, security, etc.) | -1 | 2 |
| Ease of Achieving | 0 | 1 |
| Climate/ Weather | 1 | 1 |
| Total Score | 9 | 25 |
(Again, these are my calculations based on our factors.)
Isn’t that a huge difference?!
It is not a surprise and it is definitely not something we did not know before R2I. But never gave numbers to anything. Even if we did, would that have changed the decision? Perhaps not. But it is not a bad idea to do maintain a PNL account of our lives. Isn’t it?
Some interesting Links:
http://www.gdrc.org/uem/qol-define.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_5003150_measure-quality-life.html
http://www.calresco.org/lucas/qol.htm
Saturday, October 24, 2009
An Eve was Teased
I know many of you have concerns on this issue and have also asked about it.
So Far, I had nothing major to tell about. But in the last 1 week....I have been eve teased twice!! (OMG.....poor me!)
I do not count ogling as a part of eve-teasing. It is a way of life now. And in south India, I have heard this from a southy, that if you are a female and have any complexion lighter then dark brown, you deserve attention.
Well, the first incident happened when we went to Cubbon park last weekend. A group of 3 young boys (16-17 years olds) were standing in the opposite corner of the park. We had planned a picnic for A and were having food. These boys came to our bench for no apparent reason. H, had closed his eyes may be trying to sleep under a big,old tree shade. So these guys dissected me nicely and then started commenting and giggling in kannada. I didn't understand a word of it but it was not respectful for sure. I gave them a good stare and they kept staring back not only in my eyes, but everywhere else too.
Second incident took place outside A's school. I walked out of the school holding A's hand. I had to take an auto as our driver was down with Viral fever.An Adam (man)....about 32-34 years of age, wearing a helmet, white shirt, came on a bike and slowed down his bike and indicated me to get onto his bike.
As he passed by, I turned around to take down his bike no. and also to make sure that it is what I was thinking it to be but he was still staring at me turning his head and again gestured the same thing.
So the conclusion is, yes eve-teasing happens. But you know what? It doesn't bother me much. It does upset me for sometime. It doesn't bother me much because I know I can handle this and he can do no harm to me apart from a mental harrassment and insult.
I have traveled in Delhi buses extensively for 6 years and have been through these incidents for almost 2 decades now. All ladies out there have.
What I wonder is will A be able to handle these Adam's or does she necessarily have to go through this when I know it is going to be worse with time?? Is this a part of the ultra necessary Indian culture course that we want to give her?
I am going through yet another patch of bad health coupled with school admission season. I will soon be writing about Bangalore schools after I am more at peace. Right now, my info about schools may be biased- influenced by frustrations.
But for anyone, who is moving to Bangalore early next year, the forms are out for the admission mania and it may be worth it making an emergency trip to collect forms and attend interviews this month. Good Luck!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
10 Months- Me-Then and Now
Its been almost 10 months since we r2i-ed and I often go back 2-3 years into memory lanes and think how I have changed or things have changed specially in the last 10 months.
As I have said before, I was not keen on moving back. It was 99% H's decision.1% was my coaxing him to make a decision either ways.
Having lived here for 10 months, here are the things that have made me change or re-iterate my opinions-
1.
Proximity to parents- our parents live in North. It takes a minimum of 10-12 hrs to reach them from Bangalore as compared to 26 hrs from US. I have been to my parents place twice already and going again next month for my brother's wedding but I think this is more like a novelty trips then required ones and will not be as frequent in the years to come
2.Domestic Help- Yes it is a headache till you find the maid of your dreams. My friend who R2i-ed about 4 years back is still struggling and is the witch of her complex for the maids. In a way, it depends on your attitude also. I have leant to ignore and tolerate and do things on my own as well. also, we treat all our helpers with utmost respect and compassion, so they respect us from heart.
I am in a horrible state of health for the last 5 days due to allergies and sinus. One of my maids is making all sorts of soups and Kaadhas(medicinal soups) for me everyday as per my taste. also, she is doing many other household chores which she can without asking for a penny for this. She is an angel in disguise for me. Not only b'coz she is helping me but for the kind of person she has been during the last 9 months.
Our driver is checking on me thrice a day to ensure that everything I might need is attended to.
Do you think you can get this in US?? NO.
Touchwood!(God please save my luck from evil eyes!-nazar mat lagana)
3.
Health- getting worse. I am unable to stand in the kitchen for even 10 mnts at a stretch. Allergies are kiing me. They are more frequent and worse. I have spent about Rs. 10K on docs and medicines during the last 10 months. The illnesses included allergies, sinus and stomach infections only!
It is one of the 2 reasons which still makes me fell like running back. But I have still not given up. I am trying Homeopathy and will start jalneti soon.
4.A- Thats my little one who has recently turned 3. It has been the easiest for her. No issues except for colds and upset tummy(twice). But we have been extremely careful with toilets and food with her. I do not step out of home without water and some home made or packaged snack for her. She is happy with school and is quite popular amongst teachers as well as kids.
Poor thing has become proficient in cooling down her ever exploding parents by saying- "Its ok Papa/ mummy, theek ho jayega....koi baat nahi"(it will all be fine)....I really do not know where she learnt this from.
5.Things around- I am still not used to the inefficiencies, corruption, unprofessional ism, etc., etc., etc. BUT, I have learnt to live with it and work around it.
Ex- I know how long it takes to get things done in the bank. So, I take some water and food for A along, take a 2 hours time slot(as compared to 10 mnts in US) and a book to read to pass time and maintain my cool. I am cool as cucumber now and do not scream so often. Actually, it is H who is screaming these days on everything. I am the smiling like Buddha spectator.
Ex2-If I have a courier delivery expected, or an electrician visit, or cable guy visit, etc., I do not keep any other plans for that day. That solves majority of the problems. Because I do not have other things to be taken care of and hence, no anger.
6. I don't mind it- I would not say now that I am not happy or at peace( except for the health). Trade offs are everywhere. It depends on what price you are paying to get what.
I was happy in US and now, I am happy here also. Things might change when I start working because professional angle will also come in the picture.
7.
Schools- This is reason no.2 to run back. Bangalore school scene is horrible. Last year A was under age for NPS and now she is under age for LKG but over age for montessori. Plz beget your child before june and after Jan in case you have any plans to live in B'lore. I have not yet filled up even 1 form but I am completely exhausted and in a state of giving up.
8.Social Life- Our social life in US was equally busy and happy. It is still the same. We are lucky to have a very nice bunch of friends and cousins in US and in BLR.
Diwali is around the corner and I am enjoying the festivities and prepaprations.In India, there is deifinitely much more hustle and bustle but it is not the same as I had expected or as it is in North India. I do see roadside Diya vendors, chinese lights in markets, etc. but not as festive as I expected it to be.
But, on the whole, it is nice to be back home.
See, I told you there is a twist in the tale.
As I have said before, I was not keen on moving back. It was 99% H's decision.1% was my coaxing him to make a decision either ways.
Having lived here for 10 months, here are the things that have made me change or re-iterate my opinions-
1.
Proximity to parents- our parents live in North. It takes a minimum of 10-12 hrs to reach them from Bangalore as compared to 26 hrs from US. I have been to my parents place twice already and going again next month for my brother's wedding but I think this is more like a novelty trips then required ones and will not be as frequent in the years to come2.
Domestic Help- Yes it is a headache till you find the maid of your dreams. My friend who R2i-ed about 4 years back is still struggling and is the witch of her complex for the maids. In a way, it depends on your attitude also. I have leant to ignore and tolerate and do things on my own as well. also, we treat all our helpers with utmost respect and compassion, so they respect us from heart.I am in a horrible state of health for the last 5 days due to allergies and sinus. One of my maids is making all sorts of soups and Kaadhas(medicinal soups) for me everyday as per my taste. also, she is doing many other household chores which she can without asking for a penny for this. She is an angel in disguise for me. Not only b'coz she is helping me but for the kind of person she has been during the last 9 months.
Our driver is checking on me thrice a day to ensure that everything I might need is attended to.
Do you think you can get this in US?? NO.
Touchwood!(God please save my luck from evil eyes!-nazar mat lagana)
3.
Health- getting worse. I am unable to stand in the kitchen for even 10 mnts at a stretch. Allergies are kiing me. They are more frequent and worse. I have spent about Rs. 10K on docs and medicines during the last 10 months. The illnesses included allergies, sinus and stomach infections only!It is one of the 2 reasons which still makes me fell like running back. But I have still not given up. I am trying Homeopathy and will start jalneti soon.
4.
A- Thats my little one who has recently turned 3. It has been the easiest for her. No issues except for colds and upset tummy(twice). But we have been extremely careful with toilets and food with her. I do not step out of home without water and some home made or packaged snack for her. She is happy with school and is quite popular amongst teachers as well as kids.Poor thing has become proficient in cooling down her ever exploding parents by saying- "Its ok Papa/ mummy, theek ho jayega....koi baat nahi"(it will all be fine)....I really do not know where she learnt this from.
5.
Things around- I am still not used to the inefficiencies, corruption, unprofessional ism, etc., etc., etc. BUT, I have learnt to live with it and work around it.Ex- I know how long it takes to get things done in the bank. So, I take some water and food for A along, take a 2 hours time slot(as compared to 10 mnts in US) and a book to read to pass time and maintain my cool. I am cool as cucumber now and do not scream so often. Actually, it is H who is screaming these days on everything. I am the smiling like Buddha spectator.
Ex2-If I have a courier delivery expected, or an electrician visit, or cable guy visit, etc., I do not keep any other plans for that day. That solves majority of the problems. Because I do not have other things to be taken care of and hence, no anger.
6. I don't mind it- I would not say now that I am not happy or at peace( except for the health). Trade offs are everywhere. It depends on what price you are paying to get what.
I was happy in US and now, I am happy here also. Things might change when I start working because professional angle will also come in the picture.
7.
Schools- This is reason no.2 to run back. Bangalore school scene is horrible. Last year A was under age for NPS and now she is under age for LKG but over age for montessori. Plz beget your child before june and after Jan in case you have any plans to live in B'lore. I have not yet filled up even 1 form but I am completely exhausted and in a state of giving up.8.
Social Life- Our social life in US was equally busy and happy. It is still the same. We are lucky to have a very nice bunch of friends and cousins in US and in BLR.Diwali is around the corner and I am enjoying the festivities and prepaprations.In India, there is deifinitely much more hustle and bustle but it is not the same as I had expected or as it is in North India. I do see roadside Diya vendors, chinese lights in markets, etc. but not as festive as I expected it to be.
But, on the whole, it is nice to be back home.
See, I told you there is a twist in the tale.
Monday, October 5, 2009
What's your salary?
I think this one deserves a mention. To let you prepae yourself before you r2i.
In case you are moving to India with a container or with some shipment from US.....be very ready for one question- Whats your salary?
I have written about how your life is so public and everyone owns the right to comment, advise, criticize you. When you come back with a truck load of stuff or in fact any % of truck load, you come under the radar of inquisitive relatives and friends. They did not ask my hubby directly but whenever they could find me alone, or may be they deliberately take me to a corner, they ask shamelessly how much H is making. Do they ever feel hesitant about asking such a question?perhaps not.
Most of our family lives in North India in towns. And nobody hesitates in asking your rent. So telling them that we pay 25K as rent is insane for them. They imagine a huge bungalow with 2-3 big cars parked outside, a gardner watering the plants, aayas playing with baby, etc. But reality is that for 25K, we live in a very good APARTMENT. I do not blame them because the people I am talking about may be having 25K as the monthly family income. They cannnot imagine the living expenses of metros.
If they happen to visit you, they will have peering eyes into every nuk and corner of your house. "Is this also from US, and this and how about that?", they ask about each and every thing. Even a simple corelle plate - is it US corelle or Indian?
I feel bad but sometimes I think twice before taking out a US crockery piece because it might catch eyes even if it costed me $3!
Sometimes I feel sorry for bringing the shipment.
Also, not only this, their expectations are also very high because you have moved back from US. As per them(speaking generally, exceptions are their but very rare) you can move only for 3 reasons-
1. You have been laid off and did not find a job
2. The US immigration did not find you good enough to retain you in US and kicked your butt
3. You have an extremely lucrative pay package waiting for you in India.
And God help you if you decide to move back to India without a job in hand!!
Your lifestyle, car you own, number of servants, school your child goes to, shop you do your groceries from, everything determines your extravagance and big pockets.
My advise to R2I-ers is- become thick skinned before you move back and design a disaster recovery plan for the salary question.
The way I handle the question is- "I dont know H's salary". It sounds absurd but that is the best I have come up with so far. Any suggestions are welcome.
In case you are moving to India with a container or with some shipment from US.....be very ready for one question- Whats your salary?
I have written about how your life is so public and everyone owns the right to comment, advise, criticize you. When you come back with a truck load of stuff or in fact any % of truck load, you come under the radar of inquisitive relatives and friends. They did not ask my hubby directly but whenever they could find me alone, or may be they deliberately take me to a corner, they ask shamelessly how much H is making. Do they ever feel hesitant about asking such a question?perhaps not.
Most of our family lives in North India in towns. And nobody hesitates in asking your rent. So telling them that we pay 25K as rent is insane for them. They imagine a huge bungalow with 2-3 big cars parked outside, a gardner watering the plants, aayas playing with baby, etc. But reality is that for 25K, we live in a very good APARTMENT. I do not blame them because the people I am talking about may be having 25K as the monthly family income. They cannnot imagine the living expenses of metros.
If they happen to visit you, they will have peering eyes into every nuk and corner of your house. "Is this also from US, and this and how about that?", they ask about each and every thing. Even a simple corelle plate - is it US corelle or Indian?
I feel bad but sometimes I think twice before taking out a US crockery piece because it might catch eyes even if it costed me $3!
Sometimes I feel sorry for bringing the shipment.
Also, not only this, their expectations are also very high because you have moved back from US. As per them(speaking generally, exceptions are their but very rare) you can move only for 3 reasons-
1. You have been laid off and did not find a job
2. The US immigration did not find you good enough to retain you in US and kicked your butt
3. You have an extremely lucrative pay package waiting for you in India.
And God help you if you decide to move back to India without a job in hand!!
Your lifestyle, car you own, number of servants, school your child goes to, shop you do your groceries from, everything determines your extravagance and big pockets.
My advise to R2I-ers is- become thick skinned before you move back and design a disaster recovery plan for the salary question.
The way I handle the question is- "I dont know H's salary". It sounds absurd but that is the best I have come up with so far. Any suggestions are welcome.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Dirty, Sexy, Wealthy India
Are you upset that I am always saying bad things about India? Ok. Readd the second adjective in the heading. hehe!
I am using these adjectives because the India I grew up in, or the times when we all grew up in India as changed. If you want to really R2I successfully, stop expecting to come home to the country you left 10-15 years ago.
Why I am using dirty, I don't think needs any elaboration. A termed things as dirty naturally just after we R2I-ed. The little lake close to Papa's office was Dirty Lake. The road was- Dirty road. The children on road side were Dirty Boys(she did not know the boy and girl thing back then). It was amazing to see India from a US born 2 Year old's eyes.What has changed in 9 months is that as soon as she sees something good or lets say clean and uncrowded, she says "Wow!"
Now comes the interesting one- Sexy!
Not only because women wear much more revealing and body hugging clothes then 1999, but the usual glamor quotient on the streets of Bangalore has increased. Thanks to the fashion awareness and big labels. It is a very obvious reflection of the amount of money people are making, the amount they are spending and the amount they are willing to spend. Name a brand that is not here. Tommy is present in every A class malls.
Tommy has an out let on the airport as well.
Levis has come up with an EMI scheme on jeans. So, don't be surprised if your maid comes wearing an authentic Levi's. You might want to consider visiting Tommy in that case.
Their is a positive thing about unsafe cities (read north India). Girls are unsafe and hence the fashion a little subtler. But, women in Delhi have even proved that wrong. Gosh! What fashion sense they have. Excellent figures, dresses and confidence! And I am not being sarcastic. Visiting a good mall in Delhi is like visiting a fashion show greenroom.
Now the more serious part- Wealth. Ofcourse you would like to come back to India with X+1 Salary. X being the highest salary you have heard about for someone who R2I-ed recently. 1 being any amount higher then X.
But even if you come at 0.3Y, you are fine. 0.5Y is good, anything above that is very good. Y being your current US salary in dollars. This is to maintain the same lifestyle as US. India is expensive. And people have money to splurge here. That is a very good thing because the living standard has increased. But, there may be times, when you might want to feel a little special then the rest of them around you. Then comes in the Y factor. Because actually anyone can afford everything and every place now. You might be surprised(read shocked) to see your co-diners at a moderately posh restaurants.
I really miss those days when growing up in a relatively smaller town (as compared to metros), fashion was anything other then Saree and salwar kameez, every one(upper middle class to elite) went to the same few restaurants in town, and things and people were much simpler.
But, on the whole, it feels good to be a part of it all sometimes. Because we are still not so out of the league. I wonder how we could have felt if we R2I-ed 10 years from now. A misfit may be.
Images- Thanks to images.google.com
I am using these adjectives because the India I grew up in, or the times when we all grew up in India as changed. If you want to really R2I successfully, stop expecting to come home to the country you left 10-15 years ago.
Why I am using dirty, I don't think needs any elaboration. A termed things as dirty naturally just after we R2I-ed. The little lake close to Papa's office was Dirty Lake. The road was- Dirty road. The children on road side were Dirty Boys(she did not know the boy and girl thing back then). It was amazing to see India from a US born 2 Year old's eyes.What has changed in 9 months is that as soon as she sees something good or lets say clean and uncrowded, she says "Wow!"
Now comes the interesting one- Sexy!
Not only because women wear much more revealing and body hugging clothes then 1999, but the usual glamor quotient on the streets of Bangalore has increased. Thanks to the fashion awareness and big labels. It is a very obvious reflection of the amount of money people are making, the amount they are spending and the amount they are willing to spend. Name a brand that is not here. Tommy is present in every A class malls.
Tommy has an out let on the airport as well.
Levis has come up with an EMI scheme on jeans. So, don't be surprised if your maid comes wearing an authentic Levi's. You might want to consider visiting Tommy in that case.Their is a positive thing about unsafe cities (read north India). Girls are unsafe and hence the fashion a little subtler. But, women in Delhi have even proved that wrong. Gosh! What fashion sense they have. Excellent figures, dresses and confidence! And I am not being sarcastic. Visiting a good mall in Delhi is like visiting a fashion show greenroom.
Now the more serious part- Wealth. Ofcourse you would like to come back to India with X+1 Salary. X being the highest salary you have heard about for someone who R2I-ed recently. 1 being any amount higher then X.
But even if you come at 0.3Y, you are fine. 0.5Y is good, anything above that is very good. Y being your current US salary in dollars. This is to maintain the same lifestyle as US. India is expensive. And people have money to splurge here. That is a very good thing because the living standard has increased. But, there may be times, when you might want to feel a little special then the rest of them around you. Then comes in the Y factor. Because actually anyone can afford everything and every place now. You might be surprised(read shocked) to see your co-diners at a moderately posh restaurants.
I really miss those days when growing up in a relatively smaller town (as compared to metros), fashion was anything other then Saree and salwar kameez, every one(upper middle class to elite) went to the same few restaurants in town, and things and people were much simpler.
But, on the whole, it feels good to be a part of it all sometimes. Because we are still not so out of the league. I wonder how we could have felt if we R2I-ed 10 years from now. A misfit may be.
Images- Thanks to images.google.com
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Human and Social Aspect
I have come across all sorts of NRIs in the US. But the vast species of our countrymen that you can find is overwhelming.
Where should I start from??
OK. Lets begin by saying that people do not have respect for your time, and your privacy, and your space. But yeah.......they can admire your body(if you are a woman or bear any resemblance to one) from head to toe in just one glance.
Right from electrician, maids, plumber, etc. to your very well educated and cultured friends and relatives, no one cares for your time. Both me and H have grown up in families where everything was done by the clock's tick. Very disciplined families(in fact too much disciplined). Now when some one comes late then the scheduled (late by 30-150 mnts.)time, I am sure the most-undisciplined ones will also lose their cool.
Friends who are suppossed to meet us at 6pm, turn up at 8:15-8:30. Then they got to prepare Raagi for their child(15 mnts), feed him/her(30 mnts). wash utensils and baby(15 mnts). Now they are ready to step out for the planned dinner at 9:30. Because only their child was hungry. Our's lives on air. Without even realizing that we have been waiting and our child is also starving since 8:00 PM, they move as per their convenience.
Just because I am a stay at home mom, the maid does not respect my time. She says, "aap to ghar pe hi ho na. aapko kidhar jaana hai!"(you are at home all the time.why do you need me to come early). Yeah I don't deserve timeliness.
Free advice is another huge turn off. Some random Auntie ji in the mall will comment on how you should put some warm clothing on your child as it is cold now.
I used to bottle feed A when she was a baby for social gatherings. Logic- If we went to meet someone for 1-2 hour, why should I spend 1 hour inside a locked room breast feeding?
But looking at that, Auntie Ji said- tum apna doodh nahi pilati?aaya nahi ya diya hi nahi? kam se kam 1 saal to pilana hi chahiye. (Don't you breast feed the baby?Didn't you get any milk or you opted not to breast feed?you should feed for at least the first 1 year). Also, Why I should not give pacifier, why she must not wear this and that, why is she not potty trained at 2, why is she still drinking from bottle at 18 months. The best seller- when are you having the second one? Do to hone hi chahiye(2 kids are a must). Shut up...will you please......I wish I could say this.
Some very dear friends have flooded me with a mountain high pile of free advices. These are the guys who R2I-ed before us and have now settled down- what to do, how to do and they get upset if you don't do the way they have advised. Not that I care but it bugs. Useless blabbering all the time when you know the whats and hows better then them. Excuse me....I was born Here....I spent 25 years of my life here. I know how to treat common cold, tackle maids, how many leaves to give to maids, how to haggle, etc.etc.etc.
Another thing I hate about Bangalore(My knowledge of south is limited to B'lore) is that people-male or female, youngsters, oldies, middle aged, everyone will touch the child's face and take the hand to their mouth and kiss it. They don't have any ill-will. I know that. But it annoys the child, it looks and feels gross and most importantly, WHY???
But as I said, if it is your body....oh lala! your body is wonderland!
You get all due respect in terms of attention and stare. Even if you are very average looking, big, fat, dark, 30 something......you will be dissected. Not just by men but women too. I don't know what they are looking at.
Of all the things, if the human factor is changed in India- quantity reduced and quality improved, it is the best place to live in.
Where should I start from??
OK. Lets begin by saying that people do not have respect for your time, and your privacy, and your space. But yeah.......they can admire your body(if you are a woman or bear any resemblance to one) from head to toe in just one glance.
Right from electrician, maids, plumber, etc. to your very well educated and cultured friends and relatives, no one cares for your time. Both me and H have grown up in families where everything was done by the clock's tick. Very disciplined families(in fact too much disciplined). Now when some one comes late then the scheduled (late by 30-150 mnts.)time, I am sure the most-undisciplined ones will also lose their cool.
Friends who are suppossed to meet us at 6pm, turn up at 8:15-8:30. Then they got to prepare Raagi for their child(15 mnts), feed him/her(30 mnts). wash utensils and baby(15 mnts). Now they are ready to step out for the planned dinner at 9:30. Because only their child was hungry. Our's lives on air. Without even realizing that we have been waiting and our child is also starving since 8:00 PM, they move as per their convenience.
Just because I am a stay at home mom, the maid does not respect my time. She says, "aap to ghar pe hi ho na. aapko kidhar jaana hai!"(you are at home all the time.why do you need me to come early). Yeah I don't deserve timeliness.
Free advice is another huge turn off. Some random Auntie ji in the mall will comment on how you should put some warm clothing on your child as it is cold now.
I used to bottle feed A when she was a baby for social gatherings. Logic- If we went to meet someone for 1-2 hour, why should I spend 1 hour inside a locked room breast feeding?
But looking at that, Auntie Ji said- tum apna doodh nahi pilati?aaya nahi ya diya hi nahi? kam se kam 1 saal to pilana hi chahiye. (Don't you breast feed the baby?Didn't you get any milk or you opted not to breast feed?you should feed for at least the first 1 year). Also, Why I should not give pacifier, why she must not wear this and that, why is she not potty trained at 2, why is she still drinking from bottle at 18 months. The best seller- when are you having the second one? Do to hone hi chahiye(2 kids are a must). Shut up...will you please......I wish I could say this.Some very dear friends have flooded me with a mountain high pile of free advices. These are the guys who R2I-ed before us and have now settled down- what to do, how to do and they get upset if you don't do the way they have advised. Not that I care but it bugs. Useless blabbering all the time when you know the whats and hows better then them. Excuse me....I was born Here....I spent 25 years of my life here. I know how to treat common cold, tackle maids, how many leaves to give to maids, how to haggle, etc.etc.etc.
Another thing I hate about Bangalore(My knowledge of south is limited to B'lore) is that people-male or female, youngsters, oldies, middle aged, everyone will touch the child's face and take the hand to their mouth and kiss it. They don't have any ill-will. I know that. But it annoys the child, it looks and feels gross and most importantly, WHY???
But as I said, if it is your body....oh lala! your body is wonderland!
You get all due respect in terms of attention and stare. Even if you are very average looking, big, fat, dark, 30 something......you will be dissected. Not just by men but women too. I don't know what they are looking at.
Of all the things, if the human factor is changed in India- quantity reduced and quality improved, it is the best place to live in.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What am I missing these days?
Smiling, friendly faces, cleanliness, a nice play park with well mannered kids where I can take A and let her play freely without worrying about getting hurt or being bullied, organized traffic, roads like butter, etc.
Also-
1. Some honest cops
2. Some Traffic Rules
3. Some quietness(I am longing for it)
4. A lunch in a open air restaurant at santana row or Mountain view downtown
5. A baby sitter I can leave A with for 2 hours
6. My always Clean as new shoes
7. My always like just pedicured feet
8. A Long Drive- this one should top the charts- the concept of going for a drive doesn't exists out here
9. Shopping without being ran over and without having to scream at someone- I want my courteous and polite self back.
10. Sky- A "as blue as sky"sky- the sky appears hazy, polluted and sad here. You can't even see a 100 mtr. away tree clearly here.
Also-
1. Some honest cops
2. Some Traffic Rules
3. Some quietness(I am longing for it)
4. A lunch in a open air restaurant at santana row or Mountain view downtown
5. A baby sitter I can leave A with for 2 hours
6. My always Clean as new shoes
7. My always like just pedicured feet
8. A Long Drive- this one should top the charts- the concept of going for a drive doesn't exists out here
9. Shopping without being ran over and without having to scream at someone- I want my courteous and polite self back.
10. Sky- A "as blue as sky"sky- the sky appears hazy, polluted and sad here. You can't even see a 100 mtr. away tree clearly here.
Noise Noise everywhere!
Yes, there is noise 24/7. We live in a relatively quieter neighborhoods of bangalore.
Here are the variety of noises that makes you regret your decision at times and also, there is nothing you can do about it.
1. Traffic/ Honking, even in the quietest of neighborhoods. Or lets just say, there is nothing known as a quiet neighborhood in Bangalore. I am yet to see a street which does not have a market or a mini market or a cafe to keep the street noisy all the time. Not just honks, people have this loud annoying music as a car reversing attention noise. Some kannada music, some super irritating honking symphony, baby crying noise, animal sounds, name it, they have it.
Also, the gharrrrrrrrrrrr, gharrrrrrr, scooter noise that I can hear right now.
2. Constant baby crying noise- I am a mother myself and know what a baby crying is. But in apartment, there is no way you can escape this ever increasing (quantity and volume) of baby cries. one stops the other starts. Then the third is ready to give them competition.
3. Late night parties- I don't know if people really know what it is to live in apartments. I have had 2 incidents in the first 4 months of our stay when I had to personally scream or go, knock the door and plead to lower the volume at mid-night. Actually, the party begins at mid-night. Blasting music, people singing along, hahahaha-s, clappings, antakshris. I mean c'mon.
US was so quiet that sometimes it was depressing. And India is so bloody noisy that peace has evaporated completely.
4. women chit chatting across Balconies- can you even imagine......2 ladies in diagonally opposite buildings, different floors, discussing everything from their balconies, baby's health, the pediatrician, line of treatment, have your in-laws left, oh yeah I am a free bird again, did you see that movie, Uppi is looking soooooooooooooo cute, did you read about Pooja Gandhi's BF, Oh Really?, Yeah and what about Hritik and Barbara?.........
Give me a BREAKKKKKK!!
5. The temple Noise- Yes, I have a temple and a mosque across the street. I am not complaining about the mosque. And I am a hindu. I am complaining about the blasting mandir noise specially on festivals and special days. eeeeeeeeek! It is ...i don't know how to express.
You know what is the only noise I miss? sparrow noise, Koyal noise. It has disappeared. I don't think A will ever know what a sparrow chirp means. I feel sorry for her.
Here are the variety of noises that makes you regret your decision at times and also, there is nothing you can do about it.
1. Traffic/ Honking, even in the quietest of neighborhoods. Or lets just say, there is nothing known as a quiet neighborhood in Bangalore. I am yet to see a street which does not have a market or a mini market or a cafe to keep the street noisy all the time. Not just honks, people have this loud annoying music as a car reversing attention noise. Some kannada music, some super irritating honking symphony, baby crying noise, animal sounds, name it, they have it.
Also, the gharrrrrrrrrrrr, gharrrrrrr, scooter noise that I can hear right now.
2. Constant baby crying noise- I am a mother myself and know what a baby crying is. But in apartment, there is no way you can escape this ever increasing (quantity and volume) of baby cries. one stops the other starts. Then the third is ready to give them competition.
3. Late night parties- I don't know if people really know what it is to live in apartments. I have had 2 incidents in the first 4 months of our stay when I had to personally scream or go, knock the door and plead to lower the volume at mid-night. Actually, the party begins at mid-night. Blasting music, people singing along, hahahaha-s, clappings, antakshris. I mean c'mon.
US was so quiet that sometimes it was depressing. And India is so bloody noisy that peace has evaporated completely.
4. women chit chatting across Balconies- can you even imagine......2 ladies in diagonally opposite buildings, different floors, discussing everything from their balconies, baby's health, the pediatrician, line of treatment, have your in-laws left, oh yeah I am a free bird again, did you see that movie, Uppi is looking soooooooooooooo cute, did you read about Pooja Gandhi's BF, Oh Really?, Yeah and what about Hritik and Barbara?.........
Give me a BREAKKKKKK!!
5. The temple Noise- Yes, I have a temple and a mosque across the street. I am not complaining about the mosque. And I am a hindu. I am complaining about the blasting mandir noise specially on festivals and special days. eeeeeeeeek! It is ...i don't know how to express.
You know what is the only noise I miss? sparrow noise, Koyal noise. It has disappeared. I don't think A will ever know what a sparrow chirp means. I feel sorry for her.
Roads & Traffic
Now, I hate to talk about this one. And there is nothing new that I am going to tell you. Nothing that you don't know of. BUT, being part of that traffic,driving in it, getting hit, getting your car scratched, being humiliated by traffic policeman, etc. and watching the indian traffic on Youtube are 2 very different things.
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIthEM6pDqw&feature=related
Doesn't this one look like a big group of bees whose hive has just been burnt??
It is nothing.
Traffic gets to your nerves. The noise, the no rule roads, the corrupt cops, the swirling bikers, the forever in hurry cabs, the lazy uncles, the men talking on their cell phones or even better-texting while driving, it is a pain. It has been 9 months since we R2I-ed but I still scream when some one comes extremely close to the car. They just don't care about your vehicle. Nor do they care about theirs.
Yesterday, while I was going to pick up A from school, we were standing at the red light on 80-ft. road. suddenly the bus standing next to us turned right. You got it right! on the red light, the bus turned right. and you know what happened simultaneously? the cop facing the traffic on our side, turned his back towards us!!! It was so very obvious. How can a cop on duty miss this?
We have been stopped by the policemen for violating the rules twice and we got away by paying Rs. 100 each time. Very easily. No begging, no sorries.
H has adjusted to everything so far, but traffic is something is is not able to adjust with.
It spoils the mooos. You are going to meet some friends for dinner at the new, upmarket restaurant and bam! some one just gave an scratch to your 2 months new Honda!
Another incident, H was travving with his friend and his family to another friend's house. 2 men on the bike tried to go past them and game a nice bump, scratch....basically nicely damagng one side of his santro. the bikers also fell. Now, it was one of those perpetual traffic jam situations and the bikers started fighting with our friend. Since the friend did not speak kannada, the bikers had an advantange in having the mob to their favor. One of the bikers tried to pull out the car key. It was all very heated up when suddenly our friend who was partly scared, partly, angry and surrounded by mob in a foreign town, bit the biker on his arm while trying to save his car keys. The biker started bleeding and it got even worse.
I do not know excatly how they got out of the situation but it was nasty.
So, the migratory birds, be prepared for the not so funny traffic in India and the cops who come along with the cars.
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIthEM6pDqw&feature=related
Doesn't this one look like a big group of bees whose hive has just been burnt??
It is nothing.
Traffic gets to your nerves. The noise, the no rule roads, the corrupt cops, the swirling bikers, the forever in hurry cabs, the lazy uncles, the men talking on their cell phones or even better-texting while driving, it is a pain. It has been 9 months since we R2I-ed but I still scream when some one comes extremely close to the car. They just don't care about your vehicle. Nor do they care about theirs.
Yesterday, while I was going to pick up A from school, we were standing at the red light on 80-ft. road. suddenly the bus standing next to us turned right. You got it right! on the red light, the bus turned right. and you know what happened simultaneously? the cop facing the traffic on our side, turned his back towards us!!! It was so very obvious. How can a cop on duty miss this?
We have been stopped by the policemen for violating the rules twice and we got away by paying Rs. 100 each time. Very easily. No begging, no sorries.
H has adjusted to everything so far, but traffic is something is is not able to adjust with.
It spoils the mooos. You are going to meet some friends for dinner at the new, upmarket restaurant and bam! some one just gave an scratch to your 2 months new Honda!
Another incident, H was travving with his friend and his family to another friend's house. 2 men on the bike tried to go past them and game a nice bump, scratch....basically nicely damagng one side of his santro. the bikers also fell. Now, it was one of those perpetual traffic jam situations and the bikers started fighting with our friend. Since the friend did not speak kannada, the bikers had an advantange in having the mob to their favor. One of the bikers tried to pull out the car key. It was all very heated up when suddenly our friend who was partly scared, partly, angry and surrounded by mob in a foreign town, bit the biker on his arm while trying to save his car keys. The biker started bleeding and it got even worse.
I do not know excatly how they got out of the situation but it was nasty.
So, the migratory birds, be prepared for the not so funny traffic in India and the cops who come along with the cars.
Health
Sorry for being away for a long time. But I was just running around fixing errands, school, socializing, etc. and by the time I was back, I was not in a mood to blog.
I realized that I had skipped an important part of my post R2I life- Health!
Before moving back, we were very worried about our Daughter's health. We had heard of millions of horror stories where Bangalore was cited as the hub for juvenile Asthma. So we had our fingers crossed for A's (daughter's) health.
Touch wood, A is fine so far apart from some regular cold and caugh, she is fine. She had a bad diarrhea once. She used to have cold and coughs in CA also, so I can't complain about that.
My Hubby (H hence forth) is also fine. Thank God!
It is ME who is dealing with health issue. Nothing major per say but one who is dealing with sickness, only knows the pain.
Here is a list of my health issues-
1. Initially, I had stomach upset (serious ones) every other week. Even if we did not eat out, my tummy would collapse.
Once we had dinner at Oasis Mall's food court. We bought some Rajathani thalis from the polynation food court. We realized that the dal was rotten almost towards the end. It was too late. This was in week 4 i guess.
We both had bad, very bad, stomach infection- lasted for about 8 days. It was horrible.
2. Allergies- I knew B'lore was the allergy district of India, but did not know that I would be the guest of honor.
I have 2 different types of allergies- a nose itch one and a regular- runny nose, red eyes, dry eyes, sneezing, wheezing one.
I started having this nose itch thing in week 2 and ever since, I have been scratching my nose like an animal every other day. I scratch it with plastic fork, my dupatta, or anything rough that I could find. It just doesnt go. I have tried all face packs, soaps, creams, medicated lotions, but no good.
Second one started appearing slowly and rather late also. When the second allergy happens, I am almost bed ridden for a day or 2 and it lasts for at least 2-3 weeks. And there is no guarantee that it won't happen for so many days. No Sir! It can happen after 2 days again.
I am going through homeopathy treatment now. I wont say that I am experiencing any improve ment, but lets just try. I have some good refernces for this allergy specialist homeopathy doctor.
Also, I have found one of my allergents- my pillow from Lifestyle. Can you believe it?
I discovered this disloyal sleeping companion about 3 weeks back and I am much better since then but then other allergents are still their.
There is one thing about Indian doctors- They give you anti biotics like candies.
there is no reason or logic that works for giving anti-biotics. There is no rule book too. I was once prescribed anti biotic for just 2 days!!
Initially, I was sitting at the doctor's clinic twice a month. The doc charged me Rs. 400 per visit! and a followup visit within the week was charged at the same rate.
Now I have found a cheaper doc. but if you think you are Indian. Think again. Coz these docs are very smart and know the Returned NRIs by face. The tests and fees is accordingly. :)
We are lucky to have found an excellent Pediatrician for A. Dr. Arvind Shenoy in Indira Nagar. He is awesome Very clean clinic, good advice. Does not love anti-biotics as much as other docs.
The only drawback with him is time. Either you do not get appointment for earlier then a week or you walk in and wait for 2-3 hours. But I think for kids, it is worth it.
What I have learnt is, Dirty and Indian cities are synonymous. Dust, puddle, insects, mosquitoes, flies are every where. We have adjusted to these pretty well now but initially they were a pain. Also, these are the major reason for sickness. People also have no sense of hygiene. we decided having outside food at only good and busy restaurants and not at food courts in malls. Since then the tummy problem is better but you never know.
My most reliable restaurant is Pizza Hut until now.
I realized that I had skipped an important part of my post R2I life- Health!
Before moving back, we were very worried about our Daughter's health. We had heard of millions of horror stories where Bangalore was cited as the hub for juvenile Asthma. So we had our fingers crossed for A's (daughter's) health.
Touch wood, A is fine so far apart from some regular cold and caugh, she is fine. She had a bad diarrhea once. She used to have cold and coughs in CA also, so I can't complain about that.
My Hubby (H hence forth) is also fine. Thank God!
It is ME who is dealing with health issue. Nothing major per say but one who is dealing with sickness, only knows the pain.
Here is a list of my health issues-
1. Initially, I had stomach upset (serious ones) every other week. Even if we did not eat out, my tummy would collapse.
Once we had dinner at Oasis Mall's food court. We bought some Rajathani thalis from the polynation food court. We realized that the dal was rotten almost towards the end. It was too late. This was in week 4 i guess.
We both had bad, very bad, stomach infection- lasted for about 8 days. It was horrible.
2. Allergies- I knew B'lore was the allergy district of India, but did not know that I would be the guest of honor.
I have 2 different types of allergies- a nose itch one and a regular- runny nose, red eyes, dry eyes, sneezing, wheezing one.
I started having this nose itch thing in week 2 and ever since, I have been scratching my nose like an animal every other day. I scratch it with plastic fork, my dupatta, or anything rough that I could find. It just doesnt go. I have tried all face packs, soaps, creams, medicated lotions, but no good.
Second one started appearing slowly and rather late also. When the second allergy happens, I am almost bed ridden for a day or 2 and it lasts for at least 2-3 weeks. And there is no guarantee that it won't happen for so many days. No Sir! It can happen after 2 days again.
I am going through homeopathy treatment now. I wont say that I am experiencing any improve ment, but lets just try. I have some good refernces for this allergy specialist homeopathy doctor.
Also, I have found one of my allergents- my pillow from Lifestyle. Can you believe it?
I discovered this disloyal sleeping companion about 3 weeks back and I am much better since then but then other allergents are still their.
There is one thing about Indian doctors- They give you anti biotics like candies.
there is no reason or logic that works for giving anti-biotics. There is no rule book too. I was once prescribed anti biotic for just 2 days!!
Initially, I was sitting at the doctor's clinic twice a month. The doc charged me Rs. 400 per visit! and a followup visit within the week was charged at the same rate.
Now I have found a cheaper doc. but if you think you are Indian. Think again. Coz these docs are very smart and know the Returned NRIs by face. The tests and fees is accordingly. :)
We are lucky to have found an excellent Pediatrician for A. Dr. Arvind Shenoy in Indira Nagar. He is awesome Very clean clinic, good advice. Does not love anti-biotics as much as other docs.
The only drawback with him is time. Either you do not get appointment for earlier then a week or you walk in and wait for 2-3 hours. But I think for kids, it is worth it.
What I have learnt is, Dirty and Indian cities are synonymous. Dust, puddle, insects, mosquitoes, flies are every where. We have adjusted to these pretty well now but initially they were a pain. Also, these are the major reason for sickness. People also have no sense of hygiene. we decided having outside food at only good and busy restaurants and not at food courts in malls. Since then the tummy problem is better but you never know.
My most reliable restaurant is Pizza Hut until now.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Western-isation
This is not something new that I am going to scribble about. All of us know how western we are in India and how indian we are in the US.
But some incidents do deserve mention here.
Incident #1:
I had taken my daughter to the play park in our complex and he is a conversation between 2 boys (may be 14 and 12).(the language has not been tempered with to keep the authenticity)
Boy #1- You know what.....my dad has a friend Joe who lives in Manhattan.....You know what Manhattan is? It is in New York.
Boy#2- Yeah I know New York. It is in US.
Boy #1- Yeah....but Manhattan is the business place in New York. New York is a State. But Manhattan is where this Joe lives.
Boy#2- Nodding his head all through
Boy #1- Whenever my dad visits US, which is every 2-3 months, he meets joe and one night they went for drinks some place in Manhattan and........
"Went for drinks", "Dude"- This is not the language 12-13 years olds spoke when we were grown ups(like 20-24).
Now this boy #1's dad must have had many friends with whom he went for coffee, tea, dinner. But since this guy Joe is a white, lives in Manhattan and with Joe, the dad went for "drinks", so this deserves a special mention. Also, this gave boy #1 a chance to flaunt his US knowledge and his Dad's foreign trips.
Incident #2-
Twin 13 year old girls talking to a simple 10 year old friend-
Twin Girl 1- We got to get going now since mom might be home any time now and I am feeling hungry also.(it was about 9:30 in the night and mom was still not home with teenagers! Hmmmmmmmm! May be I am too old-fashioned now).
Simple Girl- Oh! Is your mom back from the trip?Where had she gone to?
Twin Girl 1- She went to japan this time. And she has got us Wii this time.
Simple Girl- "Wow!!"
Twin Girl 2- Yeah Last year we got Laptops from US, this year we got Wii and Dad is bringing us iPods for our birthday.
Simple girl- Nods head and smiles while trying to hide her actual feelings about it."What is Wii?"
Twin Girls- Hahaha
Twin Girl 2- Wii is a latest Video game kind of a thing and you can plug it to your TV and play games.
Simple Girl- Oh! You know we are going on a cruise during summer break?(may be trying to hide her simplicity or modest family)
twin Girl 1- Oh That will be nice. We have been on cruise. It is soooooo cool! We ate cakes like anything.
Twin Girl 2- I dont like cakes. I love Pies.
Twin Girl 1- We are going to hong kong Disney land next to next saturday.
Simple girl- I got to go home now. Mom wull get upset.
How young kids are influenced by US is amazing(read shocking) here. We also drooled at the thought of travelling abroad or disneyland when were their age but these guys sound so wanna bes to me. And yes. Another girl who lives in our complex speaks english with a very strong american accent.....and I know she has never been to US. :)
Dude, Cool, kick ass, s***, F***, are the words for kids these days. We grown ups have to invent stronger words to express our feelings. And some parents dont seem to mind.
But some incidents do deserve mention here.
Incident #1:
I had taken my daughter to the play park in our complex and he is a conversation between 2 boys (may be 14 and 12).(the language has not been tempered with to keep the authenticity)
Boy #1- You know what.....my dad has a friend Joe who lives in Manhattan.....You know what Manhattan is? It is in New York.
Boy#2- Yeah I know New York. It is in US.
Boy #1- Yeah....but Manhattan is the business place in New York. New York is a State. But Manhattan is where this Joe lives.
Boy#2- Nodding his head all through
Boy #1- Whenever my dad visits US, which is every 2-3 months, he meets joe and one night they went for drinks some place in Manhattan and........
"Went for drinks", "Dude"- This is not the language 12-13 years olds spoke when we were grown ups(like 20-24).
Now this boy #1's dad must have had many friends with whom he went for coffee, tea, dinner. But since this guy Joe is a white, lives in Manhattan and with Joe, the dad went for "drinks", so this deserves a special mention. Also, this gave boy #1 a chance to flaunt his US knowledge and his Dad's foreign trips.
Incident #2-
Twin 13 year old girls talking to a simple 10 year old friend-
Twin Girl 1- We got to get going now since mom might be home any time now and I am feeling hungry also.(it was about 9:30 in the night and mom was still not home with teenagers! Hmmmmmmmm! May be I am too old-fashioned now).
Simple Girl- Oh! Is your mom back from the trip?Where had she gone to?
Twin Girl 1- She went to japan this time. And she has got us Wii this time.
Simple Girl- "Wow!!"
Twin Girl 2- Yeah Last year we got Laptops from US, this year we got Wii and Dad is bringing us iPods for our birthday.
Simple girl- Nods head and smiles while trying to hide her actual feelings about it."What is Wii?"
Twin Girls- Hahaha
Twin Girl 2- Wii is a latest Video game kind of a thing and you can plug it to your TV and play games.
Simple Girl- Oh! You know we are going on a cruise during summer break?(may be trying to hide her simplicity or modest family)
twin Girl 1- Oh That will be nice. We have been on cruise. It is soooooo cool! We ate cakes like anything.
Twin Girl 2- I dont like cakes. I love Pies.
Twin Girl 1- We are going to hong kong Disney land next to next saturday.
Simple girl- I got to go home now. Mom wull get upset.
How young kids are influenced by US is amazing(read shocking) here. We also drooled at the thought of travelling abroad or disneyland when were their age but these guys sound so wanna bes to me. And yes. Another girl who lives in our complex speaks english with a very strong american accent.....and I know she has never been to US. :)
Dude, Cool, kick ass, s***, F***, are the words for kids these days. We grown ups have to invent stronger words to express our feelings. And some parents dont seem to mind.
Ladies Special- Work and Family Post R2I
Before I go ahead to tell you about this, let me tell a bit about myself and my 'philosophy' on family. If you find me too conservative for you to handle, then skip this one. But, most of you girls (or girls' boys) will find me one of themselves.
I did my graduation in English Lit. from Delhi University, completed MBA, have a diploma from NIIT, and worked for 2 years with a MNC before I went to US. So, I definitely had career on my map of life and want to work. I worked for about 3 years before our daughter was born and once she was 18 months old (and grown up enough to be sent to day care, bit independent, and I could go to work without guilt of leaving an infant to someone), I started working again. I had worked for about 10 months post baby when we R2I-ed.
Now, for me, my child is my first priority. Neither my parents nor my in-laws can come to stay with us to take care of the child solely because I want to work. And I also do not want that because they have done their bit in raising us up and now it is their done to rest, live their own life and to spend quality time with grand children. Also, while in US, I did not expect my MIL or my mom to leave their husbands behind for 6 months at the mercy of maids and stay with us and after that leave them at home with the baby, almost house arrested, a and go out to work. If I felt lonely in US, how can I expect them to feel any better that to in their children's place.
Anyways, so family support is ruled out. My husband workes for a company based in the bay area and he has to coordinate timings with CA and Asia pacific also. This means calls starting from 6:30 am until 10 in the night.
To maintain sanity and peace, I decided to take it easy and stay at home. Also, I never worked for the paycheck. I worked for getting a sense of being productive, socializing and doing it for myself. You know what I mean!?
If it is for finances, then you have to do whatever is required to make it work.
So by now you must have understood how traditional or how modern I am.
Does that sound like you??
When we moved back, I definitely had plans to work. I wanted to take about 3 months time to settle down, start daughter's schooling, find a reliable maid, day care etc. and then start to look out for a job.
But since my Husband is working a minimum of 12 hours a day, we decided that I should stay at home to let the home be home and not turn it into a house with just walls. It is not that my husband has imposed this on me or that I am making a sacrifice but it is completely by my choice.
The reasons are innumerable but to list the major ones-
a) Long working hours for hubby- This means he is completely exhausted by the time he is home and if I also come back home completely exhausted, who spends time with the baby??
b) There are good day cares like "Your kids r our kids" but the closest one for us is about 7 kms. And the place where I am getting a job is in totally opposite direction and there is no great day care there.
c) Maid is not so reliable to leave the child with her- The child will learn her language, way of things. What if she doesn't show up? I have seen with my eyes, maids screaming at the children and the child being so scared that he was unable to even cry. He was just mumb and sulking. The very day I decided not to leave my daughter with any aaya.
d) Child molestations happen everywhere but still US is much safer and after all, police does their job there. I have heard od n number of cases in bangalore where cops were involved in chain snatching, robbery, extortions, murders and molestations. Police is completely corrupt and no one can debate that.
My daughter's friend from school is a Brit. They were here on expat for a few months. Last week while in the park( and it is a very nice, bustling public park, I have seen it), she was taking a stroll with her mom n little sis. A man who pretended to be asleep took his thing out and showed her how it worked. And the girl was obviously curious because she had never seen anything like this before. Suddenly the mom who was looking after the little sis a few feet behind got suspicious and took her away. The man had courage to do the same thing to the mom. Can you beleive this??
Do you think an Aaya will take care of your child in such a situation?Let me tell you, the maids are busy in their own socializing while at the park. Completely engrossed. Another reinstatement about me not going to work.
e) Traffic- This is also an important reason for me choosing not to work. It is crazy traffic out here in Bangalore. You can take anywhere from 30 mnts to 2 hours to tavel 5-7 kms.
f) Even if you are not very ambitious and take the job as a little timepass, you tend to get competitive while at work. This is very natural. So will you quit your job if you become competitive?
I am looking for a job where I can work from home or go part time while my daughter is at school. But I want to be home by the time she is home.
I have offered volunteer help with administrative work at my daughter's school and they have shown some interest in that. I might get my first assignment this month. :) I think I will be more then satisfied doing that.
Now you must be wondering what I do the whole day.
So here goes my timetable-
6 am-wake up sid
6-6:45- tea, newspaper
6:45-7:00- cleaning maid comes.
7:00- 8:30 - my daughter wakes up, supervise the maid, brush child's teeth, give milk, make tea/coffee for maid, make preliminary preparations for breakfast and tiffin, give shower to the kid, start laundry load, breakfast for the child, prepare breakfast for hubby and coax her to eat till 8:15, breakfast and hubby on the table.
8:15- bye bye....I love you, I have my breakfast while cleaning table, kitchen etc.
8:30-9:00- Check emails, put clothes on line, etc.
9:00-9:45-work out, yoga, bathing
9:45- start waiting for kitchen maid
10:30 Losing cool coz maid still not there, call. do my type of dusting, clean up, etc.
10:30-11:30- maid #2- cleaning kitchen (I haven't kept a cook because I also need to keep myself busy)
11:30 leave for school to pick up kid
12:30-lunch
Till 2- general household work
2-4- Strictly MY time. I read, blog, reply emails, play video game, watch TV, whatever but this is my time.
4:00- Prepare dinner
5:00- Daughter wakes up, snack time, milk, freshen up, etc. Take clothes off the line
5:30 - go to park or play at home
6:30 start calling hubby to ask him what ytime he will be home tonight.
Once a week I go to do grocery shopping and other market work. this is usually when kid if off to school. Phone calls happen in between daily chores.
Phew! I am a busy person.
But I will get busier once she starts going to a regular 'big' school coz then I will have to take her to swimming, Shiamak davar(ha ha) classes, tennis, dance, singing, etc.
Definitely, I have much more time at hand then I did in the US even when I was a stay at home mom there. But, I still get completely stressed out here. Any guesses why that is so??;)
I did my graduation in English Lit. from Delhi University, completed MBA, have a diploma from NIIT, and worked for 2 years with a MNC before I went to US. So, I definitely had career on my map of life and want to work. I worked for about 3 years before our daughter was born and once she was 18 months old (and grown up enough to be sent to day care, bit independent, and I could go to work without guilt of leaving an infant to someone), I started working again. I had worked for about 10 months post baby when we R2I-ed.
Now, for me, my child is my first priority. Neither my parents nor my in-laws can come to stay with us to take care of the child solely because I want to work. And I also do not want that because they have done their bit in raising us up and now it is their done to rest, live their own life and to spend quality time with grand children. Also, while in US, I did not expect my MIL or my mom to leave their husbands behind for 6 months at the mercy of maids and stay with us and after that leave them at home with the baby, almost house arrested, a and go out to work. If I felt lonely in US, how can I expect them to feel any better that to in their children's place.
Anyways, so family support is ruled out. My husband workes for a company based in the bay area and he has to coordinate timings with CA and Asia pacific also. This means calls starting from 6:30 am until 10 in the night.
To maintain sanity and peace, I decided to take it easy and stay at home. Also, I never worked for the paycheck. I worked for getting a sense of being productive, socializing and doing it for myself. You know what I mean!?
If it is for finances, then you have to do whatever is required to make it work.
So by now you must have understood how traditional or how modern I am.
Does that sound like you??
When we moved back, I definitely had plans to work. I wanted to take about 3 months time to settle down, start daughter's schooling, find a reliable maid, day care etc. and then start to look out for a job.
But since my Husband is working a minimum of 12 hours a day, we decided that I should stay at home to let the home be home and not turn it into a house with just walls. It is not that my husband has imposed this on me or that I am making a sacrifice but it is completely by my choice.
The reasons are innumerable but to list the major ones-
a) Long working hours for hubby- This means he is completely exhausted by the time he is home and if I also come back home completely exhausted, who spends time with the baby??
b) There are good day cares like "Your kids r our kids" but the closest one for us is about 7 kms. And the place where I am getting a job is in totally opposite direction and there is no great day care there.
c) Maid is not so reliable to leave the child with her- The child will learn her language, way of things. What if she doesn't show up? I have seen with my eyes, maids screaming at the children and the child being so scared that he was unable to even cry. He was just mumb and sulking. The very day I decided not to leave my daughter with any aaya.
d) Child molestations happen everywhere but still US is much safer and after all, police does their job there. I have heard od n number of cases in bangalore where cops were involved in chain snatching, robbery, extortions, murders and molestations. Police is completely corrupt and no one can debate that.
My daughter's friend from school is a Brit. They were here on expat for a few months. Last week while in the park( and it is a very nice, bustling public park, I have seen it), she was taking a stroll with her mom n little sis. A man who pretended to be asleep took his thing out and showed her how it worked. And the girl was obviously curious because she had never seen anything like this before. Suddenly the mom who was looking after the little sis a few feet behind got suspicious and took her away. The man had courage to do the same thing to the mom. Can you beleive this??
Do you think an Aaya will take care of your child in such a situation?Let me tell you, the maids are busy in their own socializing while at the park. Completely engrossed. Another reinstatement about me not going to work.
e) Traffic- This is also an important reason for me choosing not to work. It is crazy traffic out here in Bangalore. You can take anywhere from 30 mnts to 2 hours to tavel 5-7 kms.
f) Even if you are not very ambitious and take the job as a little timepass, you tend to get competitive while at work. This is very natural. So will you quit your job if you become competitive?
I am looking for a job where I can work from home or go part time while my daughter is at school. But I want to be home by the time she is home.
I have offered volunteer help with administrative work at my daughter's school and they have shown some interest in that. I might get my first assignment this month. :) I think I will be more then satisfied doing that.
Now you must be wondering what I do the whole day.
So here goes my timetable-
6 am-wake up sid
6-6:45- tea, newspaper
6:45-7:00- cleaning maid comes.
7:00- 8:30 - my daughter wakes up, supervise the maid, brush child's teeth, give milk, make tea/coffee for maid, make preliminary preparations for breakfast and tiffin, give shower to the kid, start laundry load, breakfast for the child, prepare breakfast for hubby and coax her to eat till 8:15, breakfast and hubby on the table.
8:15- bye bye....I love you, I have my breakfast while cleaning table, kitchen etc.
8:30-9:00- Check emails, put clothes on line, etc.
9:00-9:45-work out, yoga, bathing
9:45- start waiting for kitchen maid
10:30 Losing cool coz maid still not there, call. do my type of dusting, clean up, etc.
10:30-11:30- maid #2- cleaning kitchen (I haven't kept a cook because I also need to keep myself busy)
11:30 leave for school to pick up kid
12:30-lunch
Till 2- general household work
2-4- Strictly MY time. I read, blog, reply emails, play video game, watch TV, whatever but this is my time.
4:00- Prepare dinner
5:00- Daughter wakes up, snack time, milk, freshen up, etc. Take clothes off the line
5:30 - go to park or play at home
6:30 start calling hubby to ask him what ytime he will be home tonight.
Once a week I go to do grocery shopping and other market work. this is usually when kid if off to school. Phone calls happen in between daily chores.
Phew! I am a busy person.
But I will get busier once she starts going to a regular 'big' school coz then I will have to take her to swimming, Shiamak davar(ha ha) classes, tennis, dance, singing, etc.
Definitely, I have much more time at hand then I did in the US even when I was a stay at home mom there. But, I still get completely stressed out here. Any guesses why that is so??;)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Soccer Moms in vogue
The "Soccer Mom" culture is prevalent in cities like Bangalore and Gurgaon also.
Specially in apartment complexes, parents are competing like anything. All moms are either running to Tennis classes, Dance classes, Music classes, swimming, karate, painting, horse riding, or some other classes all the time.
Like polio drops motto "No child should be left behind", Shiamak Davar also has the same motto. Each and every child in Bangalore's society has to take Shiamak davar Classes. It is not Shiamak's fault but there is a crazy rat race going on here. And there is extreme pressure for education as well.
The by-products are- The home is left on maids, family expenses go sky rocketing, children spend a lot of time in extra curricular activities and in running around.
Also, this is my observation and has nothing to do with anyone, women(house wives) seem to have a lot of time at hand. May be because husbands work for 14-16 hrs a day, husbands come home late and leave for work late, they can afford maids so they will have maids even if they dont need some, or whatever, but some women spend 4-6 hours a day chit chatting in person outdoors. This does not include phone gossiping time. You never have this kind of luxury in the US. But this could be one reason for the crazy training sessions for kids or may be just because we are getting more westernized then western counteries themselves. So, like everything western, we need some soccer moms also here.
Specially in apartment complexes, parents are competing like anything. All moms are either running to Tennis classes, Dance classes, Music classes, swimming, karate, painting, horse riding, or some other classes all the time.
Like polio drops motto "No child should be left behind", Shiamak Davar also has the same motto. Each and every child in Bangalore's society has to take Shiamak davar Classes. It is not Shiamak's fault but there is a crazy rat race going on here. And there is extreme pressure for education as well.
The by-products are- The home is left on maids, family expenses go sky rocketing, children spend a lot of time in extra curricular activities and in running around.
Also, this is my observation and has nothing to do with anyone, women(house wives) seem to have a lot of time at hand. May be because husbands work for 14-16 hrs a day, husbands come home late and leave for work late, they can afford maids so they will have maids even if they dont need some, or whatever, but some women spend 4-6 hours a day chit chatting in person outdoors. This does not include phone gossiping time. You never have this kind of luxury in the US. But this could be one reason for the crazy training sessions for kids or may be just because we are getting more westernized then western counteries themselves. So, like everything western, we need some soccer moms also here.
Schooling
Hmmm.....so here comes the t6opic which is still giving us kind of sleepless nights.
There are 2 types of parents-
1. Who become psychos to get a child admitted to #1 schools (And I am not saying they are wrong)
2. Who are kind of chilled out and accept that some people have to go at #2,#3......#n school also.
We are kind of mix but more in the second category for now.
NPS is the most sought after school in Bangalore and they have an extremely strict rules for admission. It is a very academics focussed school. Has 3 branches in Bangalore.
Then there are the convents- Bishop Cotton Boys, Bishop Cotton Girls, St. Mary's, Etc.
There is also a string of International schools. I have not done too much research yet but going by word of mouth, the international scholls' fees is about 4-5 Lakhs pa. As compared to about 1 lakh for NPS, and the likes.
The demand and supply for schools in Bangalore is really imbalanced. For every seat there are 300-500 applicants.
Our daughter was just 2 years and 2 months old when we moved back and people asked us to forget house hunting and to rush to schools and beg for admission. We had a short term panic attack.
But then we talked about it and decided to let the child take it easy for now. As it is she was dealing with a new country, new place, new people and c'mon....she was just 2. I started going to school at 4.
But social pressures in India are so much that you hav to do certain things even if you are not fully convinced. Otherwise people start looking at you with the 'you are a moron. you dont care about your child's education' eyes.
Whatever, once we settles down, I started visiting schools. I went to NPS first and was told that even if I get them an IAS officer's request, even then my girl cannot get an admission.
Forget it.
I started with the play schools- Eurokids, Kidzee, Shemrock, Neev, etc. I visited 12 schools. I am not exagerating.
So here goes the school hunting saga.
I was shocked to notice that in most of the play schools, the children did not wear any footwear. Not even socks. May be it's a south culture. And the schools I was visitng were in Indiranagar(one of the poshest areas of banaglore).
There were 2 inches nails coming out of the benches in some, the toilets were dirty in another one, the teachers looked like Aayas in some.
This one is worth a mention. I went to Poddar Jumbo Kids in Indira Nagar and the receptionist started telling me about the school. First, she could not speak proper english. I am not expecting her to be perfect or fluent, but I did not understand what she said at all. Then some teachers came out looking and smiling at us as if "bade din baad shikaar haath laga" (Going to get some good food tinight kinds).
Our daughter was with me and she rushed towards one of the classrooms. Before I could get up and stop her, she was inside the classroom. Suddenly I heard a woman screaming as if shoo-ing away a stray dog and my daughter was running out of the classroom, very scared. The teacher of that class had eyes wide open in anger, her hand towards the door, finger pointing outside, and screaming "go out, go out". "My baby is definitely not going to this school even if she remains uneducated all her life", I decided.
Finally, I decided on Kidspace in Indira Nagar. The staff was courteous, Principal very impressive and the teachers were welcoming even when we were taking a tour of the school. My daughter has been going there for the last 6 months now and I am very glad that I chose this school.
But to tell you the truth, even play schools have awaiting list-a very long one.
As for NPS, I have heard that the selection criterion are- Income of 50 Lakhs+, Single income Family, Returned NRIs, etc. They conduct an interview even before they give out the forms. But to get first hand account, you have to wait.
Also, Schools are insanly particular about age. Ex- If she is 3 years 3 months, she is eligible. If she is 3 yrs 4 months, she is not eligible types. Being an October born, our daughter will have to lose 1 year.
About the convents, they go through agents. The agent charges about 1.5-2 lakhs and then something for the school(I really don't know how much is that). Then you get admission in 3rd or 4th list.
I am not a big supporter of International schools because of fees and the frills, so I have not pondered much.
If you are moving to Bangalore and have a child of school going age, then I will strongly advice you to be here by Sep. because admissions start in Oct. and are closed by Dec.
Sometimes, I really get very jittery about the education situation here. If this is the condition for montessori or play schools, what will happen for university??
There are 2 types of parents-
1. Who become psychos to get a child admitted to #1 schools (And I am not saying they are wrong)
2. Who are kind of chilled out and accept that some people have to go at #2,#3......#n school also.
We are kind of mix but more in the second category for now.
NPS is the most sought after school in Bangalore and they have an extremely strict rules for admission. It is a very academics focussed school. Has 3 branches in Bangalore.
Then there are the convents- Bishop Cotton Boys, Bishop Cotton Girls, St. Mary's, Etc.
There is also a string of International schools. I have not done too much research yet but going by word of mouth, the international scholls' fees is about 4-5 Lakhs pa. As compared to about 1 lakh for NPS, and the likes.
The demand and supply for schools in Bangalore is really imbalanced. For every seat there are 300-500 applicants.
Our daughter was just 2 years and 2 months old when we moved back and people asked us to forget house hunting and to rush to schools and beg for admission. We had a short term panic attack.
But then we talked about it and decided to let the child take it easy for now. As it is she was dealing with a new country, new place, new people and c'mon....she was just 2. I started going to school at 4.
But social pressures in India are so much that you hav to do certain things even if you are not fully convinced. Otherwise people start looking at you with the 'you are a moron. you dont care about your child's education' eyes.
Whatever, once we settles down, I started visiting schools. I went to NPS first and was told that even if I get them an IAS officer's request, even then my girl cannot get an admission.
Forget it.
I started with the play schools- Eurokids, Kidzee, Shemrock, Neev, etc. I visited 12 schools. I am not exagerating.
So here goes the school hunting saga.
I was shocked to notice that in most of the play schools, the children did not wear any footwear. Not even socks. May be it's a south culture. And the schools I was visitng were in Indiranagar(one of the poshest areas of banaglore).
There were 2 inches nails coming out of the benches in some, the toilets were dirty in another one, the teachers looked like Aayas in some.
This one is worth a mention. I went to Poddar Jumbo Kids in Indira Nagar and the receptionist started telling me about the school. First, she could not speak proper english. I am not expecting her to be perfect or fluent, but I did not understand what she said at all. Then some teachers came out looking and smiling at us as if "bade din baad shikaar haath laga" (Going to get some good food tinight kinds).
Our daughter was with me and she rushed towards one of the classrooms. Before I could get up and stop her, she was inside the classroom. Suddenly I heard a woman screaming as if shoo-ing away a stray dog and my daughter was running out of the classroom, very scared. The teacher of that class had eyes wide open in anger, her hand towards the door, finger pointing outside, and screaming "go out, go out". "My baby is definitely not going to this school even if she remains uneducated all her life", I decided.
Finally, I decided on Kidspace in Indira Nagar. The staff was courteous, Principal very impressive and the teachers were welcoming even when we were taking a tour of the school. My daughter has been going there for the last 6 months now and I am very glad that I chose this school.
But to tell you the truth, even play schools have awaiting list-a very long one.
As for NPS, I have heard that the selection criterion are- Income of 50 Lakhs+, Single income Family, Returned NRIs, etc. They conduct an interview even before they give out the forms. But to get first hand account, you have to wait.
Also, Schools are insanly particular about age. Ex- If she is 3 years 3 months, she is eligible. If she is 3 yrs 4 months, she is not eligible types. Being an October born, our daughter will have to lose 1 year.
About the convents, they go through agents. The agent charges about 1.5-2 lakhs and then something for the school(I really don't know how much is that). Then you get admission in 3rd or 4th list.
I am not a big supporter of International schools because of fees and the frills, so I have not pondered much.
If you are moving to Bangalore and have a child of school going age, then I will strongly advice you to be here by Sep. because admissions start in Oct. and are closed by Dec.
Sometimes, I really get very jittery about the education situation here. If this is the condition for montessori or play schools, what will happen for university??
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
List of things to bring with you when R2I-ing
I brought a lot of things with us which seemed like not required at that time. But, they were very helpful. I took about 1 year's supply of things like medicines, cosmetics, clothes, cleaning supplies, etc. And I am glad I did that.
So here is the list-
1) Medicines- For self and for Kids. Atleast common ones like Tylenol extra strength, Claritin, etc. for yourself.
Tylenol Cold, Cough, fever, pain, Laxatives if any applicable(in our case, our daughter was on Miralax on a regular basis when we moved back), Neosporin, Diaper rash cream, etc.
2) If your child is on Diapers, bring lots and lots of diapers. In India the quality is pathetic(no absorbency, bay sticker, very flimsy and tear-able) and expensive also.
3) Bounty Kitchen Tissues- You will take time to adjust to the cloth or the tissue quality in India
4) Windex
5) Laundry stain remover- There are some very good stain removers available in India also like Vanish but to get used to will take some time.
6) Clothes for children in India are very expensive. Also, you might take some time to get used to the quality and designs also. If possible, get larger sizes as well. I had also brought a lot of Osh Kosh jackets and sweat shirts for my daughter. They are very useful. And you do not get anything even close to that here.
7) Shoes- Definitely the shoe designs are better here and cheaper too. But I loved the comfort of shoes in US. So get yourself a few pairs.
8) Cosmetics- Branded cosmetics are very expensive her and you don't have deals also. Like walgreens or CVS. So get yourself lipsticks, lotions, moisturisers, face washes, creams, etc for a year. But, if you don't wish to save, everything is available here now.
9) Cosmetics for children- In this case saving money is not an issue but quality is way too different. Specially J&J baby lotion is watery here, pale pink and has a wierd smell. I am used to it now but it took some time.
10) Utility items from Ikea- I would not recommend Ikea beds or couches but definitely things from the Ikea market, bath section, etc.
11) Furniture- If you are bringing a container with yourself, try to get major furniture with yourself. The leather couches in India are almost the same price or may be more but quality is very very different. I am not taking about the quality from the chinese/ korean/malaysian stores but from furniture boutiques or american outlets.
A word of caution- if you are planning to rent an apartment in India, the couch might turn out to be too big for the living rooms here. Indian couched are made keeping the new apartment sizes in mind.
12) Branded perfumes- Both me and my husband love fragrances and we have got our selves a lot of perfumes. You dont ever get perfume deals in India. Never. I got burberry for $20. That is not possible in India.
13) We used to cook in olive oil. And we got a few litres from costco. Olive oil is very expensive in india- about Rs.700/lt. for an average one. Bertolli, etc. are more expensive.
I would be happy if any of my readers can suggest some more items.
So here is the list-
1) Medicines- For self and for Kids. Atleast common ones like Tylenol extra strength, Claritin, etc. for yourself.
Tylenol Cold, Cough, fever, pain, Laxatives if any applicable(in our case, our daughter was on Miralax on a regular basis when we moved back), Neosporin, Diaper rash cream, etc.
2) If your child is on Diapers, bring lots and lots of diapers. In India the quality is pathetic(no absorbency, bay sticker, very flimsy and tear-able) and expensive also.
3) Bounty Kitchen Tissues- You will take time to adjust to the cloth or the tissue quality in India
4) Windex
5) Laundry stain remover- There are some very good stain removers available in India also like Vanish but to get used to will take some time.
6) Clothes for children in India are very expensive. Also, you might take some time to get used to the quality and designs also. If possible, get larger sizes as well. I had also brought a lot of Osh Kosh jackets and sweat shirts for my daughter. They are very useful. And you do not get anything even close to that here.
7) Shoes- Definitely the shoe designs are better here and cheaper too. But I loved the comfort of shoes in US. So get yourself a few pairs.
8) Cosmetics- Branded cosmetics are very expensive her and you don't have deals also. Like walgreens or CVS. So get yourself lipsticks, lotions, moisturisers, face washes, creams, etc for a year. But, if you don't wish to save, everything is available here now.
9) Cosmetics for children- In this case saving money is not an issue but quality is way too different. Specially J&J baby lotion is watery here, pale pink and has a wierd smell. I am used to it now but it took some time.
10) Utility items from Ikea- I would not recommend Ikea beds or couches but definitely things from the Ikea market, bath section, etc.
11) Furniture- If you are bringing a container with yourself, try to get major furniture with yourself. The leather couches in India are almost the same price or may be more but quality is very very different. I am not taking about the quality from the chinese/ korean/malaysian stores but from furniture boutiques or american outlets.
A word of caution- if you are planning to rent an apartment in India, the couch might turn out to be too big for the living rooms here. Indian couched are made keeping the new apartment sizes in mind.
12) Branded perfumes- Both me and my husband love fragrances and we have got our selves a lot of perfumes. You dont ever get perfume deals in India. Never. I got burberry for $20. That is not possible in India.
13) We used to cook in olive oil. And we got a few litres from costco. Olive oil is very expensive in india- about Rs.700/lt. for an average one. Bertolli, etc. are more expensive.
I would be happy if any of my readers can suggest some more items.
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