Ladies Special- Work and Family Post R2I

Before I go ahead to tell you about this, let me tell a bit about myself and my 'philosophy' on family. If you find me too conservative for you to handle, then skip this one. But, most of you girls (or girls' boys) will find me one of themselves.

I did my graduation in English Lit. from Delhi University, completed MBA, have a diploma from NIIT, and worked for 2 years with a MNC before I went to US. So, I definitely had career on my map of life and want to work. I worked for about 3 years before our daughter was born and once she was 18 months old (and grown up enough to be sent to day care, bit independent, and I could go to work without guilt of leaving an infant to someone), I started working again. I had worked for about 10 months post baby when we R2I-ed.
Now, for me, my child is my first priority. Neither my parents nor my in-laws can come to stay with us to take care of the child solely because I want to work. And I also do not want that because they have done their bit in raising us up and now it is their done to rest, live their own life and to spend quality time with grand children. Also, while in US, I did not expect my MIL or my mom to leave their husbands behind for 6 months at the mercy of maids and stay with us and after that leave them at home with the baby, almost house arrested, a and go out to work. If I felt lonely in US, how can I expect them to feel any better that to in their children's place.
Anyways, so family support is ruled out. My husband workes for a company based in the bay area and he has to coordinate timings with CA and Asia pacific also. This means calls starting from 6:30 am until 10 in the night.
To maintain sanity and peace, I decided to take it easy and stay at home. Also, I never worked for the paycheck. I worked for getting a sense of being productive, socializing and doing it for myself. You know what I mean!?
If it is for finances, then you have to do whatever is required to make it work.
So by now you must have understood how traditional or how modern I am.
Does that sound like you??

When we moved back, I definitely had plans to work. I wanted to take about 3 months time to settle down, start daughter's schooling, find a reliable maid, day care etc. and then start to look out for a job.
But since my Husband is working a minimum of 12 hours a day, we decided that I should stay at home to let the home be home and not turn it into a house with just walls. It is not that my husband has imposed this on me or that I am making a sacrifice but it is completely by my choice.

The reasons are innumerable but to list the major ones-
a) Long working hours for hubby- This means he is completely exhausted by the time he is home and if I also come back home completely exhausted, who spends time with the baby??
b) There are good day cares like "Your kids r our kids" but the closest one for us is about 7 kms. And the place where I am getting a job is in totally opposite direction and there is no great day care there.
c) Maid is not so reliable to leave the child with her- The child will learn her language, way of things. What if she doesn't show up? I have seen with my eyes, maids screaming at the children and the child being so scared that he was unable to even cry. He was just mumb and sulking. The very day I decided not to leave my daughter with any aaya.
d) Child molestations happen everywhere but still US is much safer and after all, police does their job there. I have heard od n number of cases in bangalore where cops were involved in chain snatching, robbery, extortions, murders and molestations. Police is completely corrupt and no one can debate that.
My daughter's friend from school is a Brit. They were here on expat for a few months. Last week while in the park( and it is a very nice, bustling public park, I have seen it), she was taking a stroll with her mom n little sis. A man who pretended to be asleep took his thing out and showed her how it worked. And the girl was obviously curious because she had never seen anything like this before. Suddenly the mom who was looking after the little sis a few feet behind got suspicious and took her away. The man had courage to do the same thing to the mom. Can you beleive this??
Do you think an Aaya will take care of your child in such a situation?Let me tell you, the maids are busy in their own socializing while at the park. Completely engrossed. Another reinstatement about me not going to work.
e) Traffic- This is also an important reason for me choosing not to work. It is crazy traffic out here in Bangalore. You can take anywhere from 30 mnts to 2 hours to tavel 5-7 kms.
f) Even if you are not very ambitious and take the job as a little timepass, you tend to get competitive while at work. This is very natural. So will you quit your job if you become competitive?

I am looking for a job where I can work from home or go part time while my daughter is at school. But I want to be home by the time she is home.

I have offered volunteer help with administrative work at my daughter's school and they have shown some interest in that. I might get my first assignment this month. :) I think I will be more then satisfied doing that.

Now you must be wondering what I do the whole day.

So here goes my timetable-
6 am-wake up sid
6-6:45- tea, newspaper
6:45-7:00- cleaning maid comes.
7:00- 8:30 - my daughter wakes up, supervise the maid, brush child's teeth, give milk, make tea/coffee for maid, make preliminary preparations for breakfast and tiffin, give shower to the kid, start laundry load, breakfast for the child, prepare breakfast for hubby and coax her to eat till 8:15, breakfast and hubby on the table.
8:15- bye bye....I love you, I have my breakfast while cleaning table, kitchen etc.
8:30-9:00- Check emails, put clothes on line, etc.
9:00-9:45-work out, yoga, bathing
9:45- start waiting for kitchen maid
10:30 Losing cool coz maid still not there, call. do my type of dusting, clean up, etc.
10:30-11:30- maid #2- cleaning kitchen (I haven't kept a cook because I also need to keep myself busy)
11:30 leave for school to pick up kid
12:30-lunch
Till 2- general household work
2-4- Strictly MY time. I read, blog, reply emails, play video game, watch TV, whatever but this is my time.
4:00- Prepare dinner
5:00- Daughter wakes up, snack time, milk, freshen up, etc. Take clothes off the line
5:30 - go to park or play at home
6:30 start calling hubby to ask him what ytime he will be home tonight.

Once a week I go to do grocery shopping and other market work. this is usually when kid if off to school. Phone calls happen in between daily chores.
Phew! I am a busy person.
But I will get busier once she starts going to a regular 'big' school coz then I will have to take her to swimming, Shiamak davar(ha ha) classes, tennis, dance, singing, etc.

Definitely, I have much more time at hand then I did in the US even when I was a stay at home mom there. But, I still get completely stressed out here. Any guesses why that is so??;)